faith & hope

From Dictionary.com
Faith is...
1. Confidence or trust in a person or thing
2. Belief that is not based on proof

I like to test the people around me. How do they see me? How much do I really mean to them? By that I mean I purposely hurt the people around me. I just want to see how long they'll put up with my inconsiderateness and selfishness. I'll always start a relationship with anybody by being nice to them. After a certain period of time, I turn on everything they say or do, sometimes even both. I know it's harsh, but it's just my way of finding out the truth. You know how some people need to make sure the stove is off, they check and double check before they go out. And some people need to brush their teeth after every meal. Well, this is something like that. However, in a much more twisted kind of way. haha

Anybody know what I'm talking about? If you do, then you now know why I do it. I apologize if my actions have upset anyone.

So far, I've been truly amazed by the responses I'm getting lately. I feel very much loved and wanted. =D I don't understand why they have all this faith in me.

Now that we're on this topic, how about a piece of yarn? One of my dear friends has been getting quite a few remarks concerning me. Negative remarks if I may add. The person letting her in on all this 'dirt' is someone she's known her entire life and I'm sure she cares for very much. My relationship to her resembles a single ray of sunlight compared to the aurora she has with this other person. Despite all that, she still chooses to believe me. She tells me what she's heard and asks me for confirmation. I honestly deny every single one of these lies and to my astonishment, she full heartedly believes me. Until today, I still have no idea why she has so much faith in me.

Faith is good. The feeling it gives someone knowing another has so much of it in you knocks rainbows and birds chirping in the morning off the charts. It gives one complete and utter hope. =)