what's your cause?

First off, I’d just like to say sorry to Mel for completely ripping off her title. *sorry beautiful, you know I love you* It’s just that it has so much meaning, and I immediately fell in love with the entry.

So what is your cause? Do we even have any purpose in this life? Sure we do. It’s just a matter of figuring out what it is. I’m certain that many in this world have come and gone without ever knowing for sure their reason for being. I would consider myself to be one of the lucky few if I ever figured out what mine is. Whenever that may be. Not to mention the fact that day may never even come.

The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.

-Eleanor Roosevelt

Following the footsteps of Mel *an extremely sexy beast*, I asked one of my closest and brightest friends a very personal question; what are you passionate about? After about a minute or two of his silent pondering, he looked me square in the eyes, and replied in a firm and steady voice: love. I was honestly quite flabbergasted by this. His answer was undoubtedly far too momentous for someone of his age.

After about another minute or so of utter silence, he took out his phone and started to text someone. I then remembered that he had recently started a relationship with a girl. I thought about it for a while and felt somewhat vexed. I couldn’t help but I was starting to feel affronted by what he said. How could he undermine such a compelling question?

I guess he saw the exasperated look on my face and told me he knew I disliked his response. *DUH!!!* He smiled, chuckled a bit and begun to clarify himself. He explained to me the true importance of love as he saw it. He told me that love was all that mattered in this world. The feeling of being wanted and cared for was far more important than the typical teenage dream: a big house, an expensive sports car, and a shit load of cash to blow away. Oh, and not to mention the beautiful Miss July at your disposal. =P He also cunningly elucidated that his answer had nothing to do with his new girl friend *whoops*. He then told me he strongly believes that is the reason he was brought into the world. To be loved, and to give love in return. Be it family, friends, a lover or even God.

Me being me, did not agree with a word he said *haha*. However, that didn’t matter. What did matter was the fact that I knew everything that came out of his mouth was genuine and directly from the heart. He promptly went up a few notches on my list, and gained a new found respect from me.

It’s great to figure out your purpose in life. However though, what’s really important is to understand that different people see things differently, and that doesn’t matter. Not even the slightest bit. What does matter is that you pursue and exploit what you believe in as best as possible. Let it be religion, love, or something you truly enjoy doing. At least that's what I think.

the way i am

Since birth I've been cursed with this curse to just curse,
And just blurt this bezerk and bizarre shit that works,
And it sells and it helps in its self.

To relieve all this tension dispensing me,
Sentence is getting it,
Stress has been eating me recently,
All through this chest and I rest to get peacefully,
But at least have the decency in you to leave me alone.

To not come and speak to me,
I'm not what your friends think,
I'm not Mr. Friendly,
I can be a prick,
If you tip me my tank is on empty.

But I'm glad cause you feed me the fuel,
That I need for the fire to burn,
And it's burning and I have returned.

Now I'm grabbing my hair and I'm tearing it out,
You've been driving me crazy, I can't take it,
I'm racing, I'm pacing, I stand and I sit.

diamond in the rough

Friends. Someone once told me it's God's way of apologising for family. I think that's kinda funny *haha* Hundreds of different names are going through my mind currently. However, the truth is, there aren't many people I can honestly refer to as a friend. Acquaintances is a much suitable word.

From Simple English Wikipedia
A friend is a person that someone likes or knows. People who are friends talk to each other and spend time together. They also help each other when they are in trouble. Friends are people that can be looked up to and trusted. A friend is one who admires a person's skill and helps or encourages them to make the right choices.

It turns out I'm a very good friend to many people. Sadly enough, not nearly as much people can return the favor. I have noticed this in the past few months. A person I can truly call a friend, and myself, have been silently observing other 'friends' and not many people make the cut.

We notice that we tend to have more 'friends' when we have something not everybody can get their hands on. The minute everyone gets a piece of it, they vanish. Nowhere to be seen until the next great thing. And their absence just kills you when you need them the most.

Many of our 'friends' are also two-faced. They say one thing to either of us, and another to the other. We figured out that most people are happier following the crowd rather than standing up for what they believe in, even though it's their friend's loyalty they're betraying. There's also a sign of envy within friends. It's almost like they don't want you to succeed if they're not confident in themselves to do better. Why can't people just be happy for each other's achievements?

A friend of mine recently flew off to continue his studies abroad. He was quite a wealthy guy and never cared about spending money on 'friends'. Not only did he give out money, he also invested an abundance of faith in his 'friends'. And when the time came that he needed all of us by his side, only a few of us showed up. He didn't say anything of it, but the disappointed look on his face gave it away.

There is someone I have known for a really long time now. I had always been there for him when he needed me. Even if it was the smallest of things, I wouldn't hesitate to lend a hand. Not too long ago, I was severely ill and alone at home. I needed food but was in no shape to leave the house, not to mention drive. I picked up my phone and gave him a call. It turned out he was nearby and was about to leave our housing area to go to Hartamas. I asked him to pick up some food for me before he left. I didn't really catch much of what he said, but it turns out that he's late and I'm a nuisance for asking him to execute such a heavy burden. I was extremely upset with him for the longest time. I can never forget it, but I try to ignore it.

As sad is it may seem, I have concluded that only a small percentage of the people I know truly deserve to be cared for.

Don't get me wrong now, I am very happy with my life at the moment. However, this perplexity will continue to fog my mind.

apple iPhone not for malaysia?

June 29th, 2007. A simple date. A date an average person would never think about twice in their lives. But to Mac lovers around the world, a historic marker. June 29th, 2007 was the day that Apple finally launched their much anticipated iPhone. I read on the net that every single Macintosh center in the US was flooded with people on that day. To be honest, the outside was already crawing with Mac fans from the night before (The exact same thing is going on at this precise moment by the way. The new Harry Potter book is coming out tomorrow morning).

The amazing publicity build up by Steve Jobs with his outstanding Keynote presentation on the iPhone had even the anti-Macs turning their heads. Personally, I was applauding and cheering at my PowerBook whilst watching the online screening =P Apple customers waited patiently in line through horrible weather to get their hands on the new toy. It was reported that someone actually bought a spot in line for 5,000US!!! How crazy is that!?

Check out these pictures taken from a... I don't know really. I just found this random site on Yahoo! Arikan's Photos *only the first page has contents concerning the iPhone*

However though..., it doesn't seem like such a big hit in Malaysia...

Word has it that the iPhone may only be available for Malaysians in 2009. I would now like to emphasize on the word 'may'. You know how it is in Malaysia, could be later. But let's stay positive and say that it does get here then. It would still be two whole years from now that we could get our own iPhones. *it still bothers me that Apple is keeping the iPhone within AT&T subscribers. Why not push it to countries like Japan and Korea with a larger market?*

A leak from Apple Malaysia states that the 4GB iPhone will be placed at the price of RM1599 and the larger, more superior 8GB at RM2100. That's insane. Would you pay that much? I know I won't.

Well we can only wait and see. But 2009 is a really long time from now. Within two years I assure you, companies like SonyEricsson, Nokia and Samsung will no doubtedly have their own versions of the iPhone. A better one probably. Not to mention their biggest rival HTC, who recently bought over Dopod. Shortly after that, they released the HTCTouch which runs on Windows Mobile 6. Critics report that the HTCTouch has somewhat similar functions if not better compared to the Apple iPhone.

One more thing. Besides the logical keyboard and the 4/8GB flash memory, the iPhone lacks a few critical capabilities required in the Malaysian market; 3G, MMS and it only obtains a 2MegaPixel camera which is considered outdated compared to the SonyEricsson Cybershot.

Don't get me wrong, I still want one. But I might wait for the 2nd, maybe even 3rd generation released before I get my iPhone. Wait until the twerks are all tweaked out.

Here's something funny I found...

take me, have me, leave me

What is it with the men of this world? For as long as I can remember, I’ve known that men are the scum of the world. We’re greedy, we have an incredible ego and we tend to think we’re better than others. Most abominably, we treat women very poorly. Well of course not all men are like this. Only an extremely small percentage of us are considered ‘worthy’ (myself included of course). =P

While I was in middle school back in Peru, my best friend Jessica was torn apart by a certain somebody. We were in middle school for Christ’s sake. The guy was 13 and he had another girl just as soon as he was with Jess. I mean, how old do you really need to be to know how to cheat? That was the first time Jess had ever completely given her heart to somebody and he returned it in pieces.

Someone very close to my heart is having her heart ripped open by her best friend/boyfriend, which is also not her husband. Complicated eh? Tell me about it. Actually don’t, I’ve heard too much of it as it is. *haha* She complaints to me about how horrible ‘Mr. Pea’ can be at times. And the reason; he’s already gotten her. So he doesn’t put half as much effort as he did before he got her.

The Crisis that got me writing this particular entry would have to be about my dear friend all the way in Vegas. She recently left us in KL and followed her parents to the US. She has absolutely no friends there and not what I would call an ideal relationship with her parents. She was all alone until she found… could you guess? That’s right, a guy. She gave herself and so much more to him and I know because she would always tell me how she loved him and happy she was. She even mentioned about moving in with the guy and him possibly popping the ‘question’. Just knowing that one of my closest friends was happy made me just as happy. Can you guess what happened next? Right again, he left her. Apparently she was the best thing that had ever happened to him, the best chemistry he has ever had with any girl, and also the best he has ever had in bed. Thus the more reason to dump her… Does that make any sense? I think not. Right now, she’s devastated and alone so far away from all her friends. *we still love you* ='(

I absolutely have no idea how these men can easily tear apart and leave someone they care about so easily. I personally could never do that. At least, I never have. This is partially and probably because I have many female friends and they consolidate to me quite a bit. I don't mean to say that I am the perfect guy, but I have a conscience.

This is simply how the world is, how it used to be and how it will be. You can count on that.

back with black

Last Friday I was rushing through P.J. in my car trying to not to be late for my weekly session of futsal with my friends. The futsal courts shared a street with over a dozen factories, which had huge trucks getting on and off the street at what seems to be all the time. This plus the construction along the road caused abominable traffic jams during rush hour. And our court was reserved right smack in the middle of rush hour. One could only imagine the traffic at that point. I was literally no further than 20 meters from my destination when I was caught in a stand still traffic jam. After God knows how long, the three-ton truck in front of me started to move. However, it wasn't as good as it sounds. The truck was moving backwards (with reverse lights on) and smashed right into the front of my car. I can't quite remember what went through my mind, but I remember perfectly well what came out of my mouth. I'm pretty sure everyone can guess. *haha* Luckily enough, I wasn't alone at the time. My friend Hisyam, who refers to himself as 'The One' because he thinks of himself as Neo, was alert throughout the entire process of gathering the truck driver's I.D. number and the truck registration number. He also tagged along to report the incident to the authorities. Thanks buddy.

There wasn't too much damage but I was still devastated as this was the first time my car has been involved in a collision.

I only sent my car to the shop this past Thursday. I was amazed when the call man said that I would get my car back no later than Saturday. I thought the insurance claim alone would take at least two weeks, not including actually working on my car. After dropping off my car, Imtyaz and I went to Puchong to pick up a workshop car for me to use while they worked on my car. Just as we got the car, I had remembered my house keys were still in my car. So we had to go back to the workshop to pick that up. In the time that it took to pick up the temporary car and getting back to the shop, which was no more than 45 minutes, I could hardly recognize my car.



Imtyaz and I didn't need words to explain what were on both our minds. Our shocked eyes and dropped jaws said it all; wow, these guys work fast! It's really no wonder as to how they'll be done with my car within two days.

The next day, I was told to go back to the shop after noon to hand in some insurance information. On my way back from picking up some lunch for my brother, I got a call from the shop saying that I should come later in the evening as my car would be ready by then. No word in the English dictionary can express how I felt at that point in time.

Later that day I dragged along Faizal to the workshop to pick up my car. When we got there, my car was ready. Both the hood and side-mirrors were painted black, the bumper and front lip was installed and my car was ready to hit the road. So we thought. To our eyes, the paint was perfectly sprayed on. But to their eyes, it was somewhat uneven. I swear to God I couldn't see the flaws, and neither could Faizal. So after about an hour and a half of just loitering, waiting and chatting, my car was finally ready. And it looks good!

a glance behind

Here's a little something from my previous blog. This is my favorite post ever.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

The Atrocious Truth of Life

I graduated from high school in May of 2005. It's been a whole year and more since then and I'm only starting school again today. Well, university to be exact. I've been looking forward to this day since middle school if I can recall correctly. 


College has always been about partying and having fun. Of course, it was also about studying and building up a great life for my future. But most of all, the freedom one gets at this age. College is supposed to be the beginning of a new era, a great era. However though, things didn't really work out so much as I had planned. 


Today started with a big grin on my face. I woke up, showered and drove to class as I had done a million times to school the previous year. I wasn't the slightest bit nervous because I have done a lot of school exchanges since pre-school as I follow my Dad around the world. 


I've always been good at making friends. People come and go, as do I. Ergo, the significance of one's first impression. All you really need to do is be open to everything and everyone. That is the only way to get around in the world of today. That is the only way things have worked out for me every time I've switched schools. Somehow, things were a little bit different this time around. 


I was sitting in class earlier today, and being one of the earliest students to have arrived, I chose a random seat. As time passed by, and more students had come in, I noticed that I was still sitting alone. And by the time everyone had come in, including the lecturer, I was still by myself. I took a good hard look around and I realized that I was the only one sitting alone. Everyone else had at least two or three other people around him or her. 


I didn't understand, so I took another look around. And this time I saw it. 


It had hit me then and there. I was sitting point blank to the one thing I have been taught otherwise my entire life, the one thing that I have always read and learned about but have never had to face, the one thing I have never succumbed to and the one thing I have always been afraid of; racial hostility. 


As an international university, they are accustomed to host a number of nations in each class. However though, what truly shocked me was the diversity. Not in the number of nationalities in my class, but the diversity of cliques based on the number of nationalities in my class. 


This is the atrocious truth of life and as far as I'm concerned, this is something I will never be willing to be a part of. I'd rather go the extra mile, wait the extra day and suffer a little extra. But not this, never this.

unison

Regretfully, I went to bed at around 3am last night. Two and a half hours later I woke up and was on the way to the airport. Excitement and joy filled me as I thought of the last time I had seen him. As my mom and I pulled up into the car park at KLIA, I noticed my mom was just as excited as I was, more actually.

And then came the waiting. I really hate waiting for someone to come out from the arrival hall. You never really know if there's a problem at the immigration counter, luggage carousel or even the plane itself. After a big cup of hot chocolate and a bag of M&M's, my brother was finally within sight.

By the time we got home, both my mom and I were completely caught up with all the gossip and pieces of yarn from the distant South Africa. I'm pretty sure my brother learned a few things about what's happened in KL since the last time he was here. The urge to return to my bed was nowhere to be found as we talked, joked and most importantly fooled around like all the other brothers in the world.

Now as I type this up, I look over and see my brother and mother curled up on the three-seated sofa watching a movie. They look somewhat uncomfortable, but that doesn't matter. What's important is that a part of our family is finally reunited. The only person missing is my beloved sister in Melbourne. I have no idea when the next time I'll be able to see her again. My brother on the other hand is visiting her early next month. Not fair!

All in all, I'm just glad my brother's back. And not as tall as I am, yet.

my significant other

A stupid truck crashed into my car today. I'm too upset to write more.

a new leaf

Well this is my very first post on this blog. I really don't know where to start. About a year ago I started blogging with not only a different account, but an entirely different identity. I am quite certain that there is no one out there that can relate both my blogs. Thus, my secret identity (works both ways) is safe.

This brand new blog will be more about me and what I think, how I see things, and my personal thoughts. This one, I'd like very much for people I actually know to read and better understand me. Enjoy...